Most of my friends are in their end-twenties or early-thirties. None of them can say that he or she has not had devastating relationships (yes, plural).
KNOW WHAT YOU WANT
When I was around 16 years old I made a list of aspects a woman I would wanna be together with (not just dating) should have. Back then it was juvenile wishes like a certain size of breasts and ass, eye color, hobbies etc.
So when I met a girl that would not fulfill the list I automatically told myself that I wouldn’t go further than easy dating. My attitude manifested so hard that I never felt bad after a breakup because I knew from the beginning that she could not be the one.
Just once I was with a girl, who fulfilled the list, but it was not meant to be…
The list grew and many aspects changed but to this day I have a list in mind that I go through when I meet a girl. That way I never find myself in the situation in which most of my friends are constantly: every time they start dating they go all in because they think she/he might be the one. Just some time into the relationship they understand that it doesn’t work out for reasons they could have known in advance. It is the lack of concreteness and simultaneously the hope to finally find the love of their lives.
People say that I think way too pragmatic and cold-hearted.
You know what, even when you go and buy a new computer you will under no circumstances buy a computer with lower techs than you need. Why the hell should I choose a person to be with by agreeing on compromises. There are almost 4.000.000.000 women out there. Chances are good I find one who fulfills the list once again. Even if not, I would rather stay without the love of my life instead of going for a „low quality“ decision.
It is by far one of your most important decisions, why the hell accepting not what you have wanted always but what is there currently. Are you afraid of dying alone? Well, I am afraid of waking up someday and realizing I got involved with her cause of fear of being alone.